It's never a good day when you emerge from sleep, put on the first clothing you can find on the floor, give the baby to Ferris, put the dog on the leash, and head out into the wet foggy morning before the sun is fully up. Ferris usually takes care of Jackson in the morning, but for some reason I got wrangled into it.
Off I went across the street into the muddy park when I looked up and saw a bright blue spot on the ground about 40 feet away. I wasn't wearing my glasses so I had to move closer to get a better inspection. Underwear...a woman's underwear...geeeeerrrrosss...some poor girl lost her underwear in the park...trying not to think about how a woman lost her underwear in the park...must think of a way to dispose of said underwear before little kids take over in a few hours...find a stick...move in...holy crap those are MY UNDERWEAR!
How in the SAM HELL did my drawers find their way clear out here? HOLY CRAP THOSE ARE MY UNDERWEAR! Grab drawers, dispose of drawers, yank Jackson back into the house, wake Ferris.
"I found my underwear in the park!"
"Those were yours?"
"You knew about this?"
"They've been there since yesterday."
"MY NEIGHBORS HAVE BEEN STOMPING AROUND MY UNDERWEAR IN THE PARK FOR TWO DAYS?"
"Seems that way."
Mortified beyond anything you can possibly imagine, Ferris and I poured over every detail like we were part of a very bad, VERY BAD, episode of CSI. From what we could gather, Ferris put on a pair of flannel PJ bottoms the day before when he took Jackson out in the morning. The PJs were folded atop a stack of laundry which must have been adjacent to the pile of my lady things. Apparently, one of my lady things static stuck to the PJs and took a very ominous ride out into the daylight and found their way onto the muddy ground in the park. WHERE THEY WERE KINDLY INTRODUCED TO MY ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD FOR TWO DAYS!