1. I finally got the right number for my neighbors, and as it turns out, it was an operational error on my part. Big surprise. I was one number off, damn it. And yes, I still have Ward programmed into my phone and I fully plan on calling him again in the future...many many times. Ward doesn't know what he got himself into.
2. My little sister, who I lovingly refer to as Bimbo, likes me, she really really likes me. She thinks my blog is funny for some oddly disfunctional reason. You see, Bimbo went to BYU for a while and I was worried she would find some of my material and occasional use of the words shit, damn, hell, mother f----- (just kidding), well uhhh, distasteful. But she didn't. In fact, she called me yesterday to tell me that my mom said the word ass when referring to someone's she wanted to kick! This is huge, people, so very very huge. My plan for slowly dragging my family into the depths of smut and filth is working. Insert diabolical laugh.